Afraid of My Own Shadow

Who's afraid of the big bad writer?

Well folks I am.

Fear is debilitating and honestly I am ashamed to admit it.

The challenge currently faced is fear of failure, fear of not being quite good enough and maybe a little fear of success.

Talk about a cluster f***.

Even though I am trying to learn and absorb all the information out there to start my own online biz, I still find myself here talking as the Kung Fu Girl in Disguise rather than biting the bullet and moving forward on what I know in my heart will be a kick a** website.

Where is the niche? What is the target audience? Who the hell wants to hear what I have to say?

I am a self-help book waiting to happen.

Solution:

I am sick of complaining and listing all the wrongs and left turns in my life. I decide today that I will concentrate on believing in myself and treating myself the way I treat others. I deserve to be taken care of and I deserve to put myself first to be happy.

This weekend I am pulling the metaphorical trigger and by Sunday at midnight I will have a target market and an ideal reader.

Wow. Just typing that sentence released a tremendous pressure from between my shoulder blades.

Its good. I am good. I cannot do all the things but the things I can do I will do well.

Accountability is a bitch so I'll see you Sunday night!

Okay....Now What?

I did it.

I purchased a domain name and installed WordPress.

Then I stopped.

I don't have a niche/passion/direction in hell.

More accurately I have several thousand ideas that sound amazing for about 30 seconds before the next one takes over and I think all the old ideas are worthless.

This is absolutely frustrating. I finally took the first step and now a stall. So I keep trying to gather information and I am writing some freelance pieces to keep the creative juices flowing.

Stay tuned...

Just write SOMETHING

That is what all the books and other bloggers said would help break the invisible handcuffs squeezing my creative brain for the past two years. As usual when I post I am in a time of transition and angst and I am searching for the 'next big thing' to turn my life inside out.

To ensure complete transparency I must mention that all my thoughts are fueled with the hope of adding income streams to help with some pressing debt needs. Life might look different if I did not have those worries but the truth is I do and I need to embrace that reality.

Moving on here are my current brain swimmers:

1. Continue this personal, non-focused blog that I would use to practice my writing. Note: This option shows no immediate signs of revenue assistance.
2. Start a new blog focused on a passion/niche/business that has the possibility of opening additional streams of revenue. This type of blog would require set up time and that most difficult mountain to climb - deciding on a niche and the all important name. This is attractive because there are countless opportunities to expand once you are up and running. Examples: webinars, podcasts, printables, e-courses, etc.
3. Start a part-time freelance writing career in earnest. This would require starting a separate website, creating samples and searching for clients. And of course the name....
4. Consider becoming a life-ish coach. This could co-exist with either a blog or separate website. There is lots of options here as well. A decision would have to be made to pay for additional training and certification (there is some limited online training I am taking). At this point in the money war I am losing and the well is dry. 
5. Continue to write through Upwork and other freelance sites as opportunities arise. There is some good paying opportunities available but this type of writing is usually ghostwriting which does not further any hope to branch out into a more formal writing environment. Most likely will have to stick with this one for a while anyway to up the income.

Well getting that all in one place is kind of scary and exhilarating at the same time. I have a fantastic full-time job that I have no intention of leaving so whatever path I choose to skip down it will at least initially be part-time.

So there it is in the confines of a black-and-white internet post. Now all I have to do is decide. If you are out there and you want to throw your opinion into the ring please so. If not you won't read this so no harm done.