When God has other plans.... ( a bit of rambling and therapy)

Today my cousin died. Not yet 50 and a breast cancer survivor she had recently been diagnosed with a host of new cancers including a brain tumor. The doctors started treating the brain tumor and were going to attack the rest soon after. But it seems that God had other plans for Jenny.
Today she had a massive heart attack and has gone to a better place. One without pain and suffering.
My mourning is strange. While we were not close, we were not estranged and she has always been in my thoughts throughout all of her struggles. Part of me is angry. She could have taken better care of herself after the breast cancer, but she didn't. She could have gone to the doctor when she first noticed she was feeling off this time, but she didn't. And this frustrates me because she left behind 3 children and a family that is hurt and broken right now. I mourn for the hole in the hearts of her sisters, her daughter who will have to endure her teenage years without her mother, her two sons, one of which is engaged to be married next year. I mourn for my aunt and uncle. I think one of the most painful things in life must be for your child to precede you in death. I mourn for all of her nieces (one of which is my godchild) and nephews who deal now with death for the first time.
So I feel sadness and a heavy heart this afternoon as I receive phone calls from my cousin, my mom, my aunt and my godchild. All with tears in their voices and pain in their words. No one deserves to have their life ripped apart by cancer but it seems that more and more are having to deal with it every day. I hope that these alternative plans God has involve a way to ease this pain.
I am not sure if this post made any sense at all but as the title states...it is a bit of rambling and a lot of therapy. Sometimes writing the feelings down is the only thing that works for me.

So Jenny, wherever you are and whatever God has in store for you, I lift a Miller High Life to you, your life and your spirit.


May you rest in peace and may those that love you find a way to settle their hearts and hold on to the memories that will help you to live on in our lives forever.

Land of Horses and Bourbon

For those of you that don't know, I am currently stationed in Lexington, KY. Where the horses are worth more than a pair of new Rolls Royces and if you ask for bourbon mixed with Coke you will be taken out back and shot.

Now I know what some of you are thinking...Kentucky is backwards and rural and overall not a place I would end up. I used to harbor some of these feelings myself prior to my move here in June. And don't get me wrong there are certainly parts of Kentucky that are very rural and where Deliverance (the movie) seems like it may be a reality. But Lexington is different.

There is city: a nice downtown with a convention center and few half-decent restaurants and bars, a huge mall that has every store you could ever want, there seems to be a ton going on throughout the area on any given day and I can get almost anything I need from the grocery store or farmer's market (no Pike's Place Market in Seattle but pretty nice).

There is country: within a 1/2 mile from the house there are horse farms galore and fields of produce. Very beautiful drives and I am looking forward to the changing of the leaves.
So it is medium-sized, within 5 hours of the fam and besides two roads trafficless (if that is a word).

So what don't I like....right now all I can find to be negative about is the job. Rather than b**** about my job (because I am happy to still be receiving a paycheck when so many are not) I will simply say that I am still not being fulfilled at work. And unfortunately this and some of the folks I have had to deal with are making Lexington a little less attractive.

Ok well that was just a brief update of my whereabouts for those that missed that memo (who am I kidding there was never a memo). Back to work with me....

Confessions of the worst blogger ever.....

I am ashamed that the last time I posted was in April....can you all please forgive me?
I do not have some elaborate excuse or cool story to tell about the time I have spent away from Kung Fu Girl. I just fell off the wagon.
But lo and behold I have found that something is missing in my life right now. And when I looked at all the things I had going on I realized that maybe it was writing.
So I am here on hands and knees hoping that all my faithful readers (I think I had faithful readers...) will give me another try.
I may be rusty at first but I will do my best to work out all the kinks. I don't have a game plan per se on the topics to write about so it will just have to be open-ended right now. However if you have anything you would like to hear little ole me rant and rave about please do not hesitate to let me know.
Ok well now that I have that off my chest on with my day.

Thanks in advance for your forgiveness!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!

A quick shout-out to my girl Michelle for her birthday.
Still older than me huh:)

Hopefully someday soon we'll get to celebrate together!

Have a great one!

How am I doing....

Well folks what do you do when your goals conflict with each other?
So last evening Marvin and I headed out to this local bar called Confidential. Cool, trendy place that seemed a bit out of our league on a Friday or Saturday night but looked perfect for a cheap happy hour. The entire menu, tapas and all the drinks are 1/2 off and lucky us it was Tuesday so happy hour lasted the entire night. So the saving money goal----CHECK. Oh wait you say....what about goal #1...getting back on the WW buggy??? See conflict!
So what is a girl to do when super creative drinks and yummy small plates are 1/2 off and your boyfriend is finally home at a decent hour? Well you go for it! We tried all the drinks and they were fabulous and the tapas were great except we ordered too much and none were very figure friendly.
Wrong choice??? Maybe but it was a lot of fun and super tasty. I went on an extra long walk today to make up for it and will go on another one tomorrow.
Oh and the cooking class goal...guess what? My class had expired and I had to get an extension. Time flies people. But I re-signed up and finished the last exam of this group of lessons and have an A+! So now I just have to wait for the next set of materials to come in then off to the races. Only a 3 month extension so gotta kick my ass into gear.
So there it is a brief update into my world...

Sunny San Diego

Well here I sit in sunny San Diego (is there really any other place in the world that has such amazing weather???) without a new assignment, just chilling with Marvin (who is working) and waiting. So my hope is to do the following:
1. Get my ass back on the Weight Watchers train. I have been horrible this past couple of months basically eating whatever I want and not incorporating activity. Since the weather here is beautiful I have zero excuse not to get out and walk it off! I want to look good for Mike & Erin's wedding (in April) and really want to start feeling better about myself again.With all this time on my hands it should be easy to get a schedule going and work out some healthy menus. I do need to find a meeting to go to but I have a call out to the WW community for some help in that department.
2. Get some more of my cooking and catering online class accomplished. I have slacked considerably over the past few months and really want to make it a goal to finish this.
3. Save some money. Everyone is out to save some money these days and Southern California does not seem to make it very easy. But I am going to do my best using all the tools I have at hand (coupons, farmer's markets, recipes...) to see what I can do. The snag here is the fact (as you all know) that I love eating out. But I have researched and found some places in the area that have reasonable dishes and some good happy hours. Not knowing if I have a job is making this goal a bit more pressing but it is number 3 for a reason.

Those are three big goals for me but the folks at WW say that the first step to achieving your goals is to write them down in black and white. So here goes nothing!

Eating Alone

When you travel for business you are often found eating alone. At casual restaurants it is fairly simple, you bring a book, magazine, etc... You basically order, eat and get on to the rest of your life. But what happens when you are a foodie. The restaurants you frequent are not usually casual and are not exactly the atmosphere to whip out the latest Nora Roberts best seller (by the way the new 3 part series about the Pagan Stone is really good for an airplane read).
So how a restaurant reacts to a single diner is very important to me.
I made an early reservation at a restaurant tonight (5:30pm) and was the first patron to enter the restaurant. I was treated like a queen. Actually not a queen so much but some who appreciated food and was there for the whole experience. I was not rushed (my dinner took 3 hrs.) and every question, concern and comment was not only heard but reacted to. The server recommended wine, food, etc... He even talked to me about a book he was reading about a food writer, even so far as bring me the book so I could write down the information.
Basically it was a fabulous experience and I wish all dining experiences could be so awesome.
Why can't all restaurants hire such observant and caring servers? My only wish is that all the restaurants I frequent in the future can live up to this one.

To walk or not to walk...

So tonight I had an option. Take a walk or go out to eat. So what did I do...I walked to go out to eat. Typical for me since I love eating, in or out. And actually the argument between the two is for a whole other post. So I walked six blocks to buy a magazine then walked four blocks back to eat at The Cheesecake Factory. I did OK by ordering a salad and a grilled turkey burger (which was actually super tasty). But I totally messed it up by having two of the best drinks ever invented, their Strawberry Martini which is literally mushed up strawberries, sugar and Ketel One Vodka.

Delicious. Then of course with the slight buzz from the strawberry crack I headed (uphill mind you) to Tango, a restaurant I had been to before for happy hour on a previous trip. I had an awful mojito...I mean really awful but an amazing dessert called El Diablo with dark chocolate goodness and burnt marshmallow....usually hate that but loved it with this. Anyways I am now home and I did walk fast it being dark and me being downtown and alone and all. So did I burn off the calories I ate and more importantly drank...not a chance in hell. But at least I put my tennis shoes on and did something rather than sit around and watch the Food Network.

Sad Story

Tonight I wanted fish. And since I have this aversion to cooking fish in the same place I sleep I ventured out into the world. Walked over to a great restaurant and had some killer fish. A champagne cocktail to start with a great salad with killer goat cheese. Then a very large pour of white wine and an Alaskan Ling Cod with brown butter and almonds. Finish with a cappuccino with and some chocolate mousse. Great dinner, short walk and perfect weather.
So why the sad story you ask...
Well I love eating out don't get me wrong. And I am perfectly comfortable being alone at the movies, in a restaurant, even grabbing a beer in a bar. But tonight...I was sad.
The restaurant I went to was recommended to me by Marvin. So even though it was absolutely perfect in every culinary way, it was missing the most important part...him.
The wine might have gone to my head and maybe the lack of things to do at home are driving me...but I am miserable.
I just want to lead whatever normal means to this world of mine.
Cross your fingers and wish me luck...I need it.

Search Party may be needed...

No people, I am not physically lost. I know exactly where my behind sits as I type on the computer. However...I may need a search party to help me find my way to where I need to end up mentally. As many of you may be experiencing, the economy is dictating my personal life right now. I am sick of moving but cannot leave my job which is the reason for all the moving because it is just that...a job. And as frustrated as I am, I am grateful that I still have a paycheck every two weeks. So right now I sit trying not to be a spoiled brat and complain about how much it sucks that I am doing a job I am not fulfilled by, hundreds of miles from Marvin and thousands of miles from my family.
But seriously...where do I go in my mind to help filter out all the clutter and discern where I need and want to go when the dust has settled and our new president (please Obama work some magic) figures this shit out. That is where the search party comes in. If there was a way I could hire (actually just have someone volunteer out of the graciousness of their heart) someone to move and sort all the talents and desires that rack my brain and certainly are not helping me sleep at night. I would maybe feel better.
But alas all, that is not to happen (unless of course you know this magical person that could solve my woes). So in the meantime I will keep on keeping on. Hopefully finding my way in the dark. But by the bruises on my knees from hitting the bedpost in the dark...it is going to be a long haul.
So sorry about the lack of writing. I just haven't been feeling myself lately. I am missing my girl Gracie (HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY SWEET GIRL!!!!!), missing my one and only (Marvin you light up my dark) and missing my family who always keep me grounded.
I promise nothing except that I will give what I can when I can.
Thanks for all your support and I look forward to feeling more like writing soon.