Sleep Deprived

I made it out alive. The sleep study was bizarre and in 7-10 days I should know what sort of freaky sleeper I am. First there was paper work, then came the "hook-ups" (see pic below), then the lady snoring like a trucker next door and finally lights out. The lights went out at 10pm, I estimate I fell asleep at 11:30pm then clearly remember waking up at least 4 times throughout the night. Then at about 5:30am this morning a voice awakened me and after a brief vitals check the tech came in with the lights blaring and took all the little wires off me. I should have taken a picture of the after because my hair could have raised the dead. They put all this conductive goop on my head to hold the electrodes (spelling?). It took me 3 washes to get it all out.
Needless to say the so called sleep I got was probably the best example of how awful I sleep most of the time. So I came home and crashed for another 4hrs. interrupted several times by my inability to fall and stay asleep. So now I am overtired and starving. The going back to bed ruined any chance of breakfast so in 4 minutes I am eating lunch.
Enjoy the picture people and no laughing!!!!!!!!!!

To eat or not to eat....that is the question.

Tonight I am headed to the sleep clinic where I will be attached to tons of wires and machines and they will attempt to figure out why I haven't had a good night's rest since my freshman year in high school. (I wish that was an exaggeration.) I'm a bit nervous, but I would love to wake up feeling refreshed sometime this decade.
So I'm talking to my mom (who just got a brand spankin' new knee today) and she said something to the effect of: maybe you really shouldn't have stopped the sugar since you are doing the sleep study. Basically you are not supposed to make any drastic changes that could affect your regular sleep pattern. And going off sugar cold turkey is certainly drastically changing my body (headaches, salivating over every chocolate related item including those awful tasting Vita Chew things...you get the point).
So I debated, wrestled with my inner self, cursed the sugar gods and goddesses and decided Dr. Mom was right. It was probably not the brightest idea given the circumstances.
But I was doing so well.....so proud of myself.
Now I bet ya'll are thinking that I went out and ate Dairy Cream out of ice cream and shoveled chocolate cake into my mouth to make up for the lost sugar days. Shame on you!
I actually ate 1 small banana and half a regular size package of M & M's Dark. So I think I did pretty darn well. It did help curb my headache and will hopefully allow my body to relax into it's normal fitful sleeping mode.
Wish me luck. Oh and I've decided to count puppies instead of sheep because they are by far the cuter of the two.

Dinner was a bust...

Sorry folks I have no recipes for you. The chicken was too strong and made MS's tummy hurt and I didn't even finish mine. The vegetable dish was too lemony even though it was covered in delicious goat cheese.
But tomorrow is another day and another set of recipes. I figure if I can make it through two more days I can do the whole thing.
Although I have to say it is crossing my mind to go to bed now (8:45pm) just so that my mouth stops watering at the thought of ice cream.

Day One of the "Diet"

So it is the afternoon of day one in my personal hell...
Woke up this morning with a wicked headache which I am attributing to my total lack of sugar yesterday.
Had Cheerios with fat-free milk for breakfast. Pretty good except whenever I eat breakfast I am starving all day long. And with only two snacks per day this is not a good thing.
Made lunch for the girls at the office today, Greek Salad with Chicken. Pretty good but not a fan of the dressing. Too much red wine vinegar. But it did have fresh oregano and mint which gave it a pop in your mouth as you ate it.
But right now is the worse (4pm MST). I almost always have a sweet snack right about now. I ate my allotted cheese stick for a snack but I am literally sitting on my hands and sucking down water like its nobody's business trying to not reach into my desk and snag the Quaker Rice Cakes with Chocolate Drizzle that are flashing my name in neon lights.
If I can just make it till six...dinner time. Garlic and Mint Chicken with Broccoli and Roasted Pine Nuts with Goat Cheese. If it is good I will post the recipe. If not I will cry in my unsweetened iced tea.

For all the Villains in the House

I bought this book several years ago at one of those crazy card/Jesus action figure shops in Portland, OR. But you can get your very own copy at Amazon.com.
It is a very funny, slightly demented read. Well worth an hour of your time.
There are tips for Home Design, Health, Work, Social Life and Travel all from the point of view of a Villain. There is even a quiz at the beginning called, "Are You Satisfied with Your Evil Existence." And I know at least one of you is already a villain or seriously considering the dark side.
That brings me to my current situation. It is no secret that I am unhappy in my current job. And it often feels like I am a villain, taking money from little old ladies and all. But how does one look for another job when the last 5 years have spent perfecting my villainous ways?
Do not fear...the book has a section that tells you how to take your villain experiences and translate them for your resume:
"Resume Builders:

Experience----Becomes
Planning a bank heist----Project management skills
Raising an army of the dead----Knowledgeable in training co-workers
Destroying the world----Highly skilled in downsizing
Escaping from jail----Ability to dispense with unwanted situations
Blocking out the sun----Deflected illumination on company practices
Poisoning the king---- Assisted in transition of former management
Selling your soul----Strong financial sense"

The last one is a personal favorite. And of course after the resumes have gone out there are the interviews. So taken from the "Top Ten Interview Questions and How to Respond" are some of my favorites:
" Why do you want to work here? Be honest: Tell them "money, power, and the chance to crush my enemies." They'll like that.
What are your strengths? You undoubtedly have several, so start with your genius, move on to your physical prowess, and end with your ability to make people's heads explode.
What are your weaknesses? "I'm a workaholic" is always a safe response. Make sure you don't mention your fatal flaw, be it the holy cross or Rice Krispies. They'll just use it against you later.
What do you think you could bring to this job? Sometimes cliches don't work. Rather than saying, "Solid work ethics and a willingness to get a job done!" try "Death, destruction, and lots of pointy weapons." "

Maybe being a villain isn't so bad after all...

(All quotes came from "A Villain's Guide to Better Living" by Neil Zawacki with illustrations by Bill Brown both copyrighted in 2004.)

Iced Tea

There is no air conditioning in my apartment. And today was hot. Normally I would just eat some ice cream, grab a fountain drink or knock back a couple of beers. But remember the diet...
Well you are allowed to have tea and coffee on the diet (no sugar of course). So I thought what would cool me down better than some iced tea. But not just any tea would do, I wanted something to trick my taste buds into thinking they were actually getting a treat.
So I rifled through the cupboards and found Lipton, chamomile, lemon-ginger then the winner...Chai Spice Decaf. I boiled 4 cups of water and poured it over 4 tea bags and let them steep for 5 minutes. After allowing the brew to cool completely, I filled a glass with as much ice as it could hold and 3 chopped mint leaves (mint is one of the most versatile herbs there is).
It is tasty, refreshing and has convinced by mind for tonight that it doesn't need that Drumstick in the freezer:)

Crying in My Food

So I've started the Sonoma Diet a Mediterranean/Napa Valley kind of diet that doesn't skimp on flavor. I detest the word diet in itself. But as of late I am feeling a bit sluggish and my pants a bit too tight! So I thought why not give this a try. I love food bottom line. So any diet that says no more carbs, no more sweets, no more wine, etc... is not for me. The first 10 days of the diet are the hardest because you cut out almost all sugar (refined and natural). Of course this is where the weight just peels off you (I'll hold my opinion until I see for myself). So I have scoured the two cookbooks and read over the meal plans and have set the stage for Wave 1.
Officially the diet starts tomorrow although I did have one of the meals for dinner tonight as a preview. Went to Safeway and spent a fortune on produce (why is it so darn expensive to eat healthy???). Came home and went to prepping (they say that the best way to eat right is to be prepared). This is where the crying came in...


The dreaded red onion. I hate onions. I mean my mom even had to make a separate potato salad for me without onion for picnics. But on this new diet they are prevalent in a ton of recipes. And since red onions are usually sweeter, I decided to take a chance and try them again.
So I start the process of slicing the onion (For those that don't know I am taking an online Gourmet Cooking and Catering class so I actually know the correct culinary way to slice an onion) then BAM! here come the tears. I thought I was going to scratch my eyes out. I searched my brain for all those hints and tips I have read in countless magazines and seen on my favorite Food Network programs. But nothing. I drew a huge blank. So I cried.

The onion is cut and packed away for future uses. But if anyone has a trick for the next time I have to tackle this detestable vegetable I would greatly appreciate it.

So wish me luck tomorrow and keep your fingers crossed that I don't completely go postal for some chocolate about 2pm.

O Canada

So being who I am and all, I spent the 4th of July in Canada. Calgary (pronounced Cal-gary (like the man's name) to be exact. We originally just wanted to get out of town and some people we ran into told us Calgary was a great place to go. So we loaded up the SUV (gotta love gas guzzling rental cars) and headed to the border. After a very unpleasant border crossing experience (why do they have to be so mean?), we made our way in kilometers to the hotel.

After a quick trip to the mall (you'll see why below) we headed to dinner at Bolero, a Brazilian steakhouse. I see the question marks on your faces, why would I be going anywhere near a steakhouse? Well I thought it would be a nice treat for MS (the boyfriend). So in this super cool dark dining room the feasting of meats began. I ordered chicken and vegetables but MS got the whole nine yards. For those of you that don't know: At Bolero the customer is in charge of the timing on our wide selection of churrasco(skewers) to be brought to your table by our Gaucho Chefs. Green means go and Red means stop. (from opentable.com) It is a very interesting way to eat and from what I heard (or didn't hear because his mouth was always full) it was fantastic.

Friday was the day to end all days...The Calgary Stampede. While we did not plan our trip solely around the Stampede, it was certainly a highlight. What is the Stampede you ask? Well it is 10 days of rodeoing, chuck wagon races, pancake breakfasts, livestock and horse shows, country music concerts and of course lots of rides and fair food. The entire city of Calgary "goes country" for these 10 days and that meant what for us? You guessed right, it was time to cowgirl & cowboy up! (Reference above trip to the mall)


So we got dolled up in our country best and hit the scene. Yes people, that is MS with a western shirt and hat...oh yeah and take a gander at the belt buckle!


Such a good sport and see, I finally got my cowboy:)

We saw the rodeo, ate some awful fair food, drank Bud Light (seriously I go to Canada dying for some decent beer and what are they serving....Bud Light!), danced to some country music (I tried to teach MS the two-step but it was like the blind leading the blind) and ended the day with some chuck wagon racing. It was a long day, but fun and certainly different than anything I've been to in the states.

And for the record, the generous and kind Canadians sang our (USA) national anthem prior to theirs in respect of our Independence Day. It was very touching and appreciated by all the Americans in the crowd.

Saturday we shopped (of course MS found 3 shirts I found nada), MS had his first ice cold Canadian (Molson Canadian) and raved at how yummy it was, we went up the Calgary tower which is 525 ft. off the ground and similar to the Space Needle in Seattle and finally ended the day at Bonterra Trattoria, an adorable Italian joint with a killer patio. I died and went to heaven with the butternut squash ravioli served in brown butter, cranberries and vanilla oil. While MS had the Ciopinno special which is an Italian seafood dish. And from the way he was licking the bowl, I would say it was very tasty. The best of course was dessert where we shared a flight of Vin Santo and I devoured a flourless chocolate torte and MS tried his hand at cleaning a creme brulee ramekin. All in all, a flawless dinner only interrupted by the mosquitoes who thought my legs were mighty tasty.

So thank you MS for a fabulous getaway. You are too good to me!

New Look

As you may have noticed, my blog has a new look. Thank you to Michelle who did a bang-up job creating the perfect combination of color and style for my header!

Depression Cookies

So last night I decided to take a trip down memory lane and satisfy my chocolate fix all in one. When I was a kid my mom used to make us these great cookies that she called Depression Cookies. I have no idea where the name came from but if I had to guess I would say that these were cheaper to make then the packaged cookies were to buy. Regardless of why they are named as such, they are delicious!

How do you make these fantastic sounding historical pieces of my chocolate addiction? If you can make a PB & J sandwich then you are ahead of the game. There are two ingredients, graham crackers and frosting (flavor of your choice). Simply put, you break the graham crackers in half and slather on as much, or as little, of your favorite frosting. I use prepared frosting which suits my crazy lifestyle, but you could of course make yours from scratch. One can of frosting usually will allow you to make the entire box of graham crackers.

Simple, sweet and oh so scrumptious! Thank you mom for bringing these into the kitchen!